The Two Sides Of Success
Aesop's fable. The Goose and the Golden Egg, is the story of a poor farmer who one day finds a glittering, golden egg in the nest of his goose. Though he is suspicious, he takes the egg home and learns, to his delight, that the egg is pure gold. Every morning thereafter, the farmer gathers one golden egg from the nest of his goose. He soon becomes fabulously wealthy. As he grows rich, however, he also grows greedy and impatient with only one golden egg a day. Attempting to seize all the gold in the goose at once, he slaughters it, only to find nothing.
The moral of this fable has personal and professional application. Like the foolish farmer, we often push production (golden eggs) at the expense of what makes us capable to produce (the goose). Often we are more concerned with efficiency than with effectiveness. In attempts to be efficient, we overlook effectiveness and destroy our capability for getting results.
The Emotional Bank Account
The Emotional Bank Account is a powerful metaphor that relates the amount of trust in a relationship. The metaphor suggests that every interaction with another human being can be classified as a deposit or withdrawal in that persons trust. For example, you make deposits in another's trust by showing kindness, keeping promises, honouring expectations, proving loyalty, and making apologies. In other words, you put something into a relationship. You build and you repair. While small things build trust, small things also destroy trust. Unkindness, breaking promises, violating expectations, showing duplicity, and being proud are withdrawals that take away from a relationship.
the Seven Habits are interrelated, interdependent, and sequential. Using the habits, individuals work on the Private Victory™ (or self-mastery with Habits 1, 2, and 3) before moving to the Public Victory™ (building relationships with Habits 4, 5, and 6): to lead others effectively, individuals must first be able to lead themselves effectively. The seventh habit is the habit of renewal; it sustains physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual growth.
Habit 1: Be Proactive®
The habit of personal vision. Each person has the power to make his or her own decisions. When individuals use this power to choose their responses according to self-determined values, they are proactive. In other words, proactive people use a margin of freedom to make choices that best apply their values. As they work on things they can control (their Circle of Influence™) in lieu of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control (their Circle of Concern™), they use positive energy to influence conditions and increase their Circle of Influence.
Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind®
First things are always important and are sometimes urgent:
• Important. An activity is important if you personally find it valuable—if it contributes to your mission, values, and high-priority goals.
• Urgent. An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it requires immediate attention.
When we graph these two elements and their opposites, four quadrants emerge which describe the activities we engage in
The best use of our time focuses on the quadrants that emphasize importance.
The habit of interpersonal leadership. Think Win-Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means everyone wins because agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying—all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan.
A win-win person possesses three character traits: integrity, maturity, and an Abundance Mentality™ People of integrity are true to their feelings, values, and commitments. Mature people express their ideas and feelings with courage and with consideration for the ideas and feelings of others. People with an Abundance Mentality believe there is plenty for everyone.
Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
The habit of communication. When we listen with the intent to understand, our interpersonal communications are more effective. We quit sifting everything through our own paradigms and stop reading our autobiographies into other peoples lives. By setting aside autobiographical responses and caring about what the other person is trying to communicate, we are better prepared to listen empathically—with an intent to understand.
The second part of the habit, seek to be understood, takes courage and skill. You need courage to express your true feelings and be open. You need skill to clearly and accurately express your point from the others frame of reference.
Habit 6: Synergize®
The habit of creative cooperation. Redwoods, whose root systems are shallow, grow close together. Their roots interlock and keep the trees from toppling when heavy winds come. Two working cooperatively have the potential to multiply the results of each working separately. This principle, Synergize, also holds true in social interactions. Two people, creatively cooperating and interacting interdependently, will be able to accomplish more than the sum of what they could accomplish separately. As they value each others differences, open themselves to new possibilities, practice Think Win-Win, and build trust, they reap the benefits of synergizing.
Habit 7: Sharpen the saw®
The habit of self-renewal. Dulled by use, a saws serrated edge can no longer cut through wood. The blade is not in the proper condition to saw effectively. To function effectively, people need to Sharpen the Saw. In other words, they need to preserve and improve themselves. The key to sharpening the saw is to regularly and consistently work on all four dimensions of renewal: physical, social/emotional, spiritual, and mental. Bodies and minds exerted on a regular basis are prepared for exertion. Conscience, consistently listened to and followed, becomes increasingly sensitive. Relationships, loyally attended to, grow. As individuals balance and sharpen all four dimensions, they improve their effectiveness in all of the habits. In so doing, they grow, change, and improve.
